New Years Resolution Update #3

So how are my New Year’s resolutions going?

I had decided, as you know, to follow the 12 laws (one for each month of the year) of karma, in my own words and in my own way. Here is my progress in the third month of my 12 step plan.

For March, I have been following The Law of Humility: Be humble and accept what is. It will still be what is if you accept it or not. Sometimes life sucks; you cannot change it. Move on, try again, and make it better.

What does it mean to be humble? I consulted a few people and asked them what this means to them. Below are their answers. 

You are humble if you:

• are comfortable and confident with yourself and let your deeds speak for themselves (I try to but sometimes a “gentle reminder” is needed).
• embrace self evaluation and be open to criticism (Working on this one).
• celebrate the achievements and potential of others (Depends on the age group and how they react).
• do not let pride and praise go to your head ( Not brought up to “toot my own” horn and avoid doing this for fear of getting in trouble with my Mom).
• keep your opinions to yourself unless asked (No way. I cannot resist a good debate).
• listen to the words of others (As long as they are not too long winded).
• are happy not being the “star”( I am fine being in the background as much as possible).
• hate arguing (Not if I know that I am right).
• think of others before yourself ( Always try to. Maybe too often actually).

Yes, I do have a bit of work to do on the whole humility thing but I am only in month 3 of this year.

“Accept what is. It will still be there if you accept it or not. Sometimes life sucks; you cannot change it.”  I think that these words ring true for the “Mr. Wonderful “of my life. It did suck at first but now it sucks so much less. During a recent visit to the ER, it felt great to remove his name as the “person of contact” on my file. According to the admitting lady, many women are doing the same thing in the same gleeful manner. Go feisty ladies.

And finally, I also focused on my “move on, try again, and make it better” words. (I will now get on my political soapbox). I am trying everyday to do just this as I call 5 congress people to encourage them to vote for the good of others not just a select few. I practically have their numbers memorized as I leave daily message in support of the ACA, Planned Parent Hood, NEA, Meals on Wheels, and against the NRA. As issues arise, I feel the need to “make it better”. On the “make it better” thing, I am doing just fine.

So as I reflect in Law number 3, I am happy with my progress so far. I still have about a week to go so I will work on the humility thing some more. I know that life can suck, but mostly I know that it I a pretty great life that I lead. I am moving on, trying again, and making it better for me and hopefully for others, too.

Looking forward to April and the next law of Karma; stay tuned.

New Years Resolution #2 Update

So how are my New Year’s resolutions going?

I had decided, as you know, to follow the 12 laws (one for each month of the year) of karma, in my own words and in my own way. Here is my progress so far.

For February, I have been following The Law of Creation: Life doesn’t just happen. It requires our participation. Work towards your goals and do not just talk about them. Just Do It! (Nike has IT right)!

I have been trying to follow the law of creation in many ways. The list below is but a few of the ways that I have been participating, working toward my goals, and doing things for myself and others.

First, I have been working hard to right the political wrongs of our country. I call fiveCongress women and men daily to express support or concerns about political issues that will affect me, my family, and people that I care about (that would be many, many, many issues). Given the present political climate, I will continue this calling for a very long time. I also have been writing and have sent more than100 postcards to date. Get ready, Paul Ryan, I will be sending you and your fellow republicans many more.

Second, I have had people question me about my wearing if a safety pin on my coat. After I explain to them the pin’s significance, the next day they are wearing a pin, too. I have had a few conversations from immigrants after they spot my pin. Their faces become more relaxed when they see that pin. Although I might not be able to answer their questions, especially those about cooking, just that fact that I am listening to them seems to matter the most. We should all be wearing safety pins.

Are you wearing your safety pin?

Third, I am continuing to promote my book, The Feisty Woman’s Guide to Surviving Mr. Wonderful by signing up for book fairs, health fairs, and craft shows. (Have you bought your copy)? You meet great people, network, distribute your business cards, and hopefully, most of all, sell my book. These events get me out of the house and around people different than those I see every day. As we talk, about my book and other things, I have discovered that so many people feel like I do on many topics (I avoid religion and politics, unless they bring it up, of course). And I have found that the majority of people think as I do about caring for the children, homeless, the elderly, and the veterans. Nice people are everywhere. Just visit a craft, health, or book fair and you will find them.

Fourth and maybe most importantly, I have been helping family members deal with various crises in ways that enables them to do what needs to be done without me. I have set them on a course of action and they have followed through in their own way to apply for car insurance, to complete their taxes, to seek guidance, to speak up for their children, and to appreciate their own inner feistiness that will help them through the bumps and bruises of life. I am so proud of them all. As Nike says..”just do it” and they have, strangely enough, some while wearing their Nike sneakers. 

As February comes to a close, I have been following this Law of Creation and remembering everyday that life doesn’t just happen. (Just to help me with this, I have posted the law in various locations around my house). This law requires that I have to be actively involved and participating in my own life. Working towards my goals and just not talking about them has really helped push me forward professionally and personally. I look forward to March when I add the next law of karma to my life. Should be interesting.

New Years Resolution #1 Update

Resolution # 1:  The Great Law: As you sow, so shall you reap. These are great words for me to remember when plotting any type of revenge tactics.  Your actions can come back to you at any time. This could be a very scary thought.

To follow through on the Great Law, so far:

I have tried to be kinder when I am driving. I have tried to be more patient with stupid drivers. I wave people into traffic. I am slowing down when weather is crappy. A few drivers have actually waved me into traffic and no one has this month shot me the middle finger. So far so good.

I have tried to talk nicely to bank tellers, telemarketers, grocery clerks, store clerks, and to smile at people. That last one really freaks them out. Amazing the responses you receive when you are polite. Some people just look at you like you are crazy; other people seem to have really needed that kindness on that day. So far so good.

I am being kinder and more patient with myself. I am giving myself plenty of time to do things, trying not to rush but to enjoy each moment of every day. If my day has to be extended at either end, so be it. It is so nice not to be rushing first thing in the morning and throughout the day. I feel calmer and can enjoy all of the nice moments of my day, to stop and listen to others, and to have them stop and listen to me. So far so good.

I am eating better. Healthy everyday meals are readily affordable so I have been buying salads and soups for lunch. I eat my healthy gluten free snack bars everyday and have cut down in the dark chocolate. I feel better and seem to have more energy. I did fall off the wagon with the chips, regular and barbecue. Mostly, so far so good.

I am trying to do only one thing at a time and doing it better. I have always been the queen of multi-tasking. Then I recently read an article about multi-tasking that says most people do not accomplish either task so I have cut back on that. Why work harder if I do not have to? One thing at a time, Elizabeth. Mostly so far, so good.

I am keeping things neat and tidy at home. I almost always have a neat and tidy house. Being busy at work, however, just seems to invite an invasion of the dust bunnies. By most people’s standards my house is perfect but I am not happy if things aren’t in their place. (This stems from having to tidy up before going outside to play. I never wanted to miss out on that). So far so good.

I walked in the Women’s March in Washington D.C. That event changed my whole perspective on life. “As you sow, so you shall reap” really made me think about how I can advocate, speak for, and assist others who need my voice to insure healthcare, Social security, Medicare, workers’ rights, equal pay, and so much more. If I do one thing everyday, I can make a difference. And everyday, I have made phone calls or written letters to do just that.  Time will tell if I have really made a difference but better to speak up. If you do not speak up, you have no right to complain. So far so good.

I believe that I really worked hard to follow the first law in January. I have kept the revenge stuff to a minimum, tried not to throw the nasty words back at anyone who said them to me, or done spiteful things (even though I just might have wanted to), but have rather resorted to my late Grandmother’s words:  be nice to people who are mean because it really will make them feel bad (eventually) about making you feel bad.”.   Some people may never get it but the good people in your life will. And it is for the good people that I have been calling, speaking out, and advocating.

I cannot wait to see what the second law brings for me in February. Stay tuned.

The (Feisty) Women's March

It's been a full week since the Women's March on Washington and the women's marches around the world. I hardly know where to begin. I was one of the 500,000 women marching in D.C. Let me clarify that this was not a march against trump but a march for women. The march was about all of the things that women care about, things that affect their lives and the lives of their family members. And if trump was “bashed”, that just a bonus to me and most of the women in the march and on the bus that I met that day.

January 21st started very early, around 2 am. I came home from work the day before and slept about 7 hours before the march. (I need my rest or I will be totally crabby and not feisty)! Most of the women on the bus had not slept at all. One complained that her kids had eaten her snacks. Another was really fired up and ready to go, too excited to sleep. Still another reminisced about marching in the 1960’s. Others were obvious novice political protestors like me. Most of all, we all wanted our voices to be heard.

Food was a big concern for most of us. We needed the fuel to march and to calm our nerves, I believe. Snacking was rampant on our way to D.C. and the calming smell of coffee was ever present. After the march, the snacks also flowed freely from hardboiled eggs to junk food. My case of water was long gone but others had plenty of bottles to pass around. We drank lots of water but not too much, so that we did not have to use the dreaded bus toilet. I brought a big bag of completely loaded carb-laden snacks.. They were a real hit, I guess, because the bag never made it to me. (Never fear because I ate my share of carbs when I got home Sunday morning).

Driving by bus is always an adventure. Comfortable, spacious seats, great restroom accommodations, a temperature controlled coach, a professional, healthy, non-directionally challenged driver, and a kind, thoughtful tour leader are always the hope of bus passengers everywhere, but not on this trip. We were squished together, forced to use the restroom on the bus (no getting off the bus!!), had a freezing or hot flashed temperature system, a seriously scary, directionally challenged, hacking bus driver, and a sharp, temperamental tour leader. Who could ask for more?

As our coughing, sickly bus driver drove us on our way, we were at first crawling and then flying (75 MPH). I was really glad to get to D.C. for sure, for many reasons, and so were the thousands at the Metro station. A collective roar rose through the crowd when we all saw each other; it was a flash of energy, goodwill, and determination to make this day the largest march that our country had ever seen. It did live up to that and more, much more.

Upon departing the uber-crowded Metro, the first group that I saw were Native Americans, a group well acquainted with loss of their rights. The hair literally stood up on the back of my neck when I saw them. It was a very profound introduction to what the day would hold for me. Speaker after speaker inspired me to become more involved in helping other women, the poor, the elderly, the differently-abled, those needing Planned Parenthood services, the incarcerated. I was moved nearly to tears by Gloria, America, Randy, Scarlett, Kirsten, Cecile, LaDonna, Van, Angela, Ashley, Michael, Muriel, and actually…all of the speakers. I felt so comforted and inspired to know that these women and men felt as I did and that we all agreed that something needed to be done to improve our country and the lives of all people, not just the 2%.

So last night and today, I have thought a lot about this March for Women, talked with others who were not there about what I saw, felt, and heard. They all wished that they had gone, too, but I knew right then and there that I had represented them at this March. I took their hearts, their feelings, and their lives with me as I cheered speaker after speaker and felt as empowered as they now do, too. I encouraged them, as I encourage you, to take action. Do one thing everyday. As Michael Moore said, start with phone calls, posters, meeting-up with liked minded folks, or even run for office. Let your voice be heard.

So, speak up, feisty ladies, and let your voice be one of positive change and hope, both locally and nationally. Speak up for the wrongs. Be an upstander. Be an American woman who voice will be heard and silenced no more by anyone. We all deserve better. Be part of the solution. I march with you, as will millions of other men and women.

Hope to see you all at the next March, feisty ladies. The country needs us!

The Feisty Woman and Her New Year’s Resolutions

It is the time of year to make New Year’s resolutions, feisty ladies.  There are so many resolutions to possibly commit to, but which ones to choose? After much thought and consideration, I have decided to follow the 12 laws of karma, in my own words and in my own way. See what you think.

1. The Great Law: As you sow, so shall you reap. Great words for me to remember when plotting any type of revenge tactics.  Your actions can come back to you at any time. This could be a scary thought.
2. The Law of Creation: Life doesn’t just happen. It requires our participation. Work towards your goals and do not just talk about them. Just Do It! (Nike has IT right)!
3. Law of Humility: Be humble and accept what is. It will still be what is if you accept it or not. Sometimes life sucks; you cannot change it. Move on, try again, and make it better.
4. The Law of Growth: Change what is needed in your heart, your state of mind, and then your life will change, too. Stay positive no matter what. This can sometimes be difficult for me.
5. The Law of Responsibility: Take responsibility for what is your life. Be active in your life; do not be a passenger. Change it as you need to right now. Change can be difficult but some things in life are not easy, right?
6. The Law of Connection: The first and last steps are needed to accomplish any given task. Respect the journey and respect the whole process of doing anything. All the steps you take are important. They are all valuable. Enjoy the journey, something I am really trying to do.
7. The Law of Focus: You cannot think of two things at the same time. Do one thing great. Focus! No multitasking ever! I really need to work on this one.
8. The Law of Giving and Hospitality: Give without expecting to get anything in return. The universe must be allowed to fulfill your desires in the way it sees fit. And hopefully in the way that I want, too.
9. The Law of Here and Now: Be totally in the Here and Now. Do not focus on the past; let it go. Do not focus on the future; be in the here and now. The future will create itself if you just let it. And I hope that it is great.
10. The Law of Change: History repeats itself unless we learn the lessons we need to learn. No more loser guys for me; time for a great guy.
11. The Law of Patience and Reward: True joy comes from doing what you are supposed to do and knowing that the reward will come in its own time. This one is really difficult because I need to work on being patient but if I keep the reward idea in mind, I can do it.
12. The Law of Significance and Inspiration: The true value of something is the direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it. Put energy into something that will be valued. I will not blow my energy on things that are not valuable to me.

This is a great list. Perhaps I can do one of these laws every other day in every month of this year.  (Sounds like a lot even for me). I will post these laws on my bathroom mirror and check in at the end of the day to see if I completed any of them that day. I keep you apprised of my progress. It should be interesting. Stay feisty ladies and remember the laws of karma

Christmas Holiday and the Fudge

Just like many of you, I ate a lot of cookies and candies over the Christmas holidays. I received most as gifts so I really could not throw them away for fear of hurting someone’s feelings, of course.

 I stuck said treats in the freezer but still could not resist the temptation to eat them even if they were frozen and hard as a rock (thank goodness for the microwave). My sugar intake was sky high and the only antidote seemed to be chips and the saltier the better. 

After spending days eating in the sugar/salt/sugar world, I finally had enough and got my healthy eating habits back. Salads and more salads replaced the cookies and candies. I began to feel better, too. My weight even started getting back to normal.

Then disaster struck again in the form of chocolate fudge. I received two containers of the most delicious, creamy chocolate fudge that I have ever tasted. I started out with one piece, which grew to my finishing one container in less than hour. I had my neighbor keep the other box at her house for fear that I would devour the second box, too. I was fine with that until she returned the half eaten second box. Seems that she could not resist it either. 

I decided to take the more than half finished box back with me to work. The people with whom I work will eat just about anything and the fudge was no exception. I did sneak into the break room to have a piece or more and by the end of the day the fudge container was empty. 

On my way home from work, I was struck with the worst stomachache that I have ever had. I spent most of the night feeling totally nauseous and sick to my stomach. This awful feeling continued through the next day. Nothing I ate made me feel better. Why was I feeling so lousy? 

A colleague and I were chatting the next day about the state of my stomach. She listened to my tale of woe and told me what exactly was the root of my indigestion: too much butter. She had worked for many years in the food industry and

was well aware of how much butter was used in food preparation to achieve the delicious, creamy texture of so many foods. I was suffering from an overdose of not sugar or salt but butter. It made sense because I eat so little butter to begin with and my overindulgence with fudge was too much for my stomach.

I learned my lesson. I have not eaten anything with any butter since and have felt much better. I will also stay away from fudge, at least for the time being.

Guess that is what happens you eat healthy all the time and have a holiday binge on fudge but that binge really did taste great! I promise to do better next year…I hope. 

Surviving a Birthday During the Holidays

Anyone else out there have a holiday birthday? Mine lies right before Christmas and each year it is a scheduling ……..difficulty. It isn’t that people don’t want to celebrate my birthday but it is that they become too busy with their own families to join me in a birthday celebration. I have a few suggestions to anyone else who has such a birthday. They just might work for you.

Reschedule your birthday. It is YOUR birthday after all. This year we celebrated early, at my suggestion. The day was one that we could all agree on. Be careful of the re-schedule, however. One year, I asked to move my birthday to January but January came and passed; so did February and March. In April, I reminded people of the over sight and a birthday celebration was quickly rescheduled.

Skip your birthday altogether. As we all grow older, many of us do not want to be reminded of our actual age. I have actually started going “backwards” in my age when people ask me how old that I am. That keeps them quiet and wondering what my age really is. I am not ashamed to say that I am over 60 but the majority of people in society do consider anyone over 50 to be nearly invisible and obsolete. So keep them wondering.

Celebrate on any and every day that you want. I buy myself birthday treats throughout December. It is amazing all the things that I find for myself when I am Christmas shopping. I have even copied some people who celebrate a ½ birthday. June seems like a good time to also celebrate so I celebrate my real December birthday and my ½ birthday. Why not? I am surely worth it.

Observe your true birthday on the true date and throw the party yourself. I did this for one of my birthdays and everyone who attended had a great time. I bought the food and cake that I wanted. I had snacks galore and received great gifts. I did the planning for the party; all the others had to do was to bring me a present. I removed all of their stress and had a great party on my actual birthday.

Happy Birthday, December birthday ladies. Just remember to celebrate yourself not only on your birthday but everyday. Feisty ladies rule on birthdays, too.

Holiday Season Thoughts: 04

Feisty Single Women and The Holidays

So, how do feisty single women celebrate the holidays when most movies, TV specials, and holiday show feature couples celebrating the holidays? I know what works for me but I have often wondered what works for other feisty single women like me. I interviewed a few women in this category and their answers may surprise you.

Mary remarked that she is simply too busy making her children’s holiday special that she does not have time to think about her single status right now. Their lives, activities, and her work fill her life right now.  She is just fine with that.

Karen remarked that she is happier by herself because she does not have to cook and eat food that she does not like, clean up after anyone but herself, that she never bought him the right gifts in 27 years of marriage, and that she and her children do not have to put up with his insulting comments about everything they did to create family traditions. Christmas is actually fun and peaceful, just the 3 of them. 

Catherine is so busy playing auntie that she hardly even notices that she is not part of a couple because she shares Christmas with 9 great nieces and nephews. Christmas is so fun through the eyes of children as they play, run around outside, and stuff their faces with goodies. She is right there with them through all of their celebrating. This sounds like great fun.

Patricia takes her children to serve turkey dinners in the shelter. She always remembers how truly blessed her life is after talking to a few of these women. The least of their worries (and hers’ too) is having a man in her life. Just getting a job, a place to live, and health benefits is all these women truly want and need. Be glad for what you have in your life.

Lori, however, is so glad that she has a great guy in her life for this the second Christmas in a row. (She is not yet married, so I do consider her single). She truly loves being a couple and has been so very elated these last 2 Christmases. Life as a couple is what she wants.

I am a feisty, single woman who will continue enjoying holiday celebrations without my former sad, sullen, and morose “Scrooge” like guy, a sad sort who never got the true meaning of Christmas. I celebrate holidays with friends and family many times throughout the season. Each celebration is filled with lots of fun, laughter, and joy. To be honest, I do watch my share of Hallmark movies and am always glad for anyone who gets their happy ending, whatever that may be. 

Create your own holiday traditions, feisty single women and enjoy your holidays on your own terms, in your own way, and in your own style.